The wild adventures of Imaginary Bob and Friends

Being the Allentown Idol

2006-05-31T13:46:00.000-07:00

Last night, I tried out for the finals of the Allentown Idol contest in PA. It didn't go as planned but I KNOW I was the best singer there. Come on. Give me a break you stinky judges. I won a qualifying round weeks earlier and held the title of king of karaoki for 7 glorious days. Yep, even sang Angel and watched all the girls swoon and faint over me for a bit of time. That can go to ones head if you let it. I, of course, did not. ;)

I am still baffeled that I was not chosen to represent the bar for the regional tournament coming up in New Jersey soon. I knew I should have slipped the judges a $100bill just before the tourney started. Hmmm next year, I'll be ready for bribery!

Testing testing one two three

2006-05-09T18:18:00.000-07:00

I, Imaginary Bob, did some studying this weekend. I realized after a long long talk with Lil' Lula that too much of my time has been spent apart from each other. Life is too short to waste it not being together if possible. And it IS possible I must just study for this test, get my certification in superpowers, and sent out my potentials for potentials!

On another note, as a fan of the UPN Top Model show with Tyra Banks - one of the most famous hotties, I was sad to learn of Furonda going home this past week. She was charming and beautiful. The girl, Jade, is no gem. I wish they would dump that trash and move on to the real top models that are left.

Ready for a break

2006-05-02T19:13:00.000-07:00

This weekend is the infamous Kentucky Derby in my hometown. A series of festivities over the course of 3-4 weeks lead up to the most famous 3 minutes in sports history. Locals, though, like myself will be attending the Oaks Day at Churchill Downs racetrack. This will be my first year for the Oaks. We like more laidback events which start with a mid morning party at someone's house... This year we are going to Smokey's house to start - it helps that she lives so close to the track and we can carpool over. Then after snacks and cocktails we plan to head over to the infield. Now, Derby weekend isn't as much about watching the horses racing as it is about watching the people attending the events. There should be an interesting variety of hats and costumes in the infield as always. One year on Derby day I even spotted spiderman! Me? I will be dressed as myself - Imaginary Bob with some cool shades, betting hat, and a side of mint julip - for tradition's sake of course.

Good luck on all you betters out there. I'm going superfectas all the way baby!

Arbor Day in our front yard

2006-04-26T09:58:00.000-07:00

Arbor Day is generally celebrated on April 28th for 2006. But I was feeling industrious this weekend and went with Matthead(my best friend) to the giant man store with blue awning out front. You know the one.

So I ended up buying 3 trees and planting them in the front yard while Keekee the Wonder Cat and Dog supervised. Man, they are tough management. All I heard all day was mew mew this and woof woof that. Felt pretty good about planting these trees. As it turns out just one full grown tree with reduce carbon dioxide gases by 2000 lbs per year. Which is super important with all the beans I'm planning to eat in the coming months.

Hurrah for Arbor Day!

Imaginary Bob featured on website

2006-04-20T20:47:00.000-07:00

I have been so busy lately with my appearances and my public. In January and February, I was part of the Butterfly Installation exhibit at the Gem Gallery in Heber Springs, Arkansas. Then at the artist reception I was picked up by a gallery in Memphis - The Painted Planet. People just can't seem to get enough of my portraits. la tee dah! It seems my involvement in the art world is going to my head. I'm afraid soon I will give in to temptation and begin drinking heavily and such. NAaa I'm Imaginary Bob. It's just not my style. I'll try to stay level headed even while winning such accolades as the Allentown, PA Semi-Finals Idol Contest at the nearby Garfield Inn. If I choose to go for the local finals at the end of May and win, then I can go to the New Jersy regional finals and then on to Reno, NV(I believe). I did have one particular girl in the audience captured by my voice. I thought she was going to jump over the pool table and plant one on me in the middle of my song. Thank goodness she could restrain herself until after I was done. Then She even got up and sang and it was somewhat good somewhat awful. I wondered why someone would give the microphone to such a drunk individual but still I wanted to take her home. ;)

That is all for me now. I have autographs to sign and paintings to have made of me.

Be sure to check me out at the Painted Planet in Memphis on June 9th from 8-11pm. I'll be there with the artist that captures my every move. I'm also going to be on display at the Main Street Gallery in Groton, NY from June 9th-16th. For more updates on my schedule check out my personal artist's website at http://clou.websiteanimal.com

Would love to hear from my fans. Please reply to my blog or leave a message on my artist's space at http://clou.websiteanimal.com It may take a while for me to respond with all the fan mail I get but rest assured, your email matters and I will read it!

Ciao!
I.B.

Imaginary Bob back from Marines training

2005-11-30T08:09:00.000-08:00

I thought the training would never be over. I was in for 6 months and had little sleep, little time to myself, little bed, little this little that. Now I'm back and hotter than ever.

The last few weeks of working in cubicle land

2005-08-01T23:38:00.000-07:00

Who knew I would ever escape the cubicle land I have called home for nearly 6 years now? It soon shall come to pass. Bob will make a triumphant exit - arms waving, hollering, laughing, and pointing at the poor suckers that have to stick around here. Fred, Bob's best friend, will be soarly missed and is not included in the 'poor suckers' reference.
Aaahh, let's take a trip down memory lane...
My first few months here at the freak show included sharing a cubicle area with two other guys who loved to eat beans and stink up the place and then giggle about it like little girls. Included punching a silver surfer (blownup punching bag) daily to relieve stress - I should have known then. Included the General Manager, who made six figures, eating my sandwich that I had brought for lunch and then laughing at me about it and NOT offering to buy me lunch. Included the next three years a revolving door of GMs (around 10) which also brought a revolving door of unstability and continuous layoffs every payday Friday. Oh, and those were the good times. Yep, sure am gone to miss this poophole.

What have you done for me lately???

2005-07-06T01:02:00.000-07:00

Well, I (meaning Imaginary Bob) have been on hiatus for quite some time now. Traveling to and fro which in some instances has been long distances and in other occassions has been out to the mailbox and back. Either way, my time has dwindled into the vaccum vortex we call the continuom and alas this blog has suffered. Never fear dear readers! I have returned!!! I am here to suck up your webgalaxy days in stupefaction - all the while increasing your vocabulary and the extent of my lexis. No not Lexus as in the luxury vehicle manufacturer. Lexis as in the synonym for vocabulary/language/words/terms/expressions/terminology.

Ahh ha ha ha. I have successfully added a new word to your brain. My plan is working. You are becoming smarter just reading this blog and therefore will feel a subconscious(or intuitive) reason for coming back for more and more and more......

Taken "Downtown"

2005-06-16T18:32:00.000-07:00

Imaginary Bob doesn't like traffic court. This morning was spent in a drabbly decorated court room watching a zigzag of people in and out and issue bench warrant and write this down and community service and fees and fines. It was an orchastrated circus without bigtop music and only a couple clowns. I felt quite at home.

Mowing the lawn

2005-06-15T19:05:00.000-07:00

Today, the lawn was mowed. This was a three step process that involved precision, inventory of fuel, and timing. Precision meaning - not slicing down all the small shrub-berry that I didn't have the energy to weedeat around. Inventory of fuel meaning - I wasn't smart enough to fill it up before starting mowing. And Timing meaning - I don't really like Crazy Neighbor at all so I had to hurry to go get the gas, come back, and finish as much as I could before Crazy Neighbor came back home.

It worked out perfectly... didn't kill just slightly mamed small plants, got plenty of fuel so next time I won't run out, and finished long before I had to stare across the grass at Crazy. All in all this lawn mowing was a true success.

For future blogs we'll refer to neighbor #1 as Crazy Neighbor and neighbor #2 as Old Neighbor and neighbors #3 as Partyin' neighbors.

Imaginary Bob and Friends

2005-06-14T20:51:00.000-07:00

Welcome fellow travels through cyberspace! I am Imaginary Bob. We will have wild adventures together through our everyday lives...

Take for instance today....

I drove home from work(night shift), slept, and returned a base guitar to the rental shop this afternoon. To some that may seem mundain and insignificant. To me and my Daisy base guitar, it was a bitter end to a short lived romance. We had dreams man, dreams. She and I were going to make it to the top of the music pyramid and becon the call of the industry's members at our every whim and wonderment. But alas, we parted with no words between us just silence -and a crisp $10 bill for the rental deposit. The crass rental dude even had the nerve to ask of our relationship as he grabbed her by the neck and ask mmm, did you have fun with her. The brute! Musical instrument pimps have no class.